We should be able to speak respectfully, but freely with our families & friends or anyone we hold near and dear. But some where down the line, we’ve been silenced because of our fear of their unhappiness. We have been conditioned to put their needs and wants in front of our own. But when does that stop?
Most of us get good grades and go to college to please our parents and we end up feeling bad when we can’t deliver that beautifully framed piece of paper a.k.a. a diploma. Some of us feel less than for not working in our degree field, but instead working in sales because we want to tell our families about our cool jobs. So again, I ask, when does it stop? When do we say I am doing this for me, to please me, and to make me happy?
I believe, in most families, we will make our families proud no matter what, as long as we are upstanding and kind citizens of the world. However, we feel guilty when we finally decide to be selfish and do what’s best for us. Contrary to popular belief, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THIS! Being selfish for your happiness, is not a bad thing. As long as what you are doing does not personally place someone else in harms way or effect their well-being in a negative way, do what’s best for you!
I’m here to tell you, the person who will be the happiest, if you do what’s best for your well-being and follow your passions, is YOU. No one will feel the joy of writing that first blog, but you! No one will feel that sense of ease for posting your first vlog, except you. You have many small wins and accomplishments that you should be proud of. The fact that you choose to continue to follow that dream, says a lot about your resilience. If no one appreciates your hard work and diligence, make sure you do!
No one will know how you feel because they are not walking in your shoes, so why deny yourself of happiness and peace to please those who are supposed to want this same happiness and peace for you?
Families, friends, and loved ones: doesn’t that sound contradictory to you? You force your ideals and wants on this person you love, yet, can’t understand when they drift away from you once they are older. Or you can’t figure out why they can’t find one stable career path after you’ve pushed your dreams of them being a doctor, a lawyer, or professional athlete, on them. They are confused about who they are, because your wants overshadowed their own.
Please take time to think of their wants, needs, and goals for their happiness. I know you want what’s best for us, but the only thing we want for you is to trust us with our own happiness. We’ve got this!
And to that confused dreamer and people pleaser, DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY! You have one life to live and living it for others will not give you a fulfilled life.