What are some actions or words that come to mind, that paint a picture of what the word love means to you? Don't worry, to help, I made a list: PRAYER, chivalry, forehead kisses, hugs, LAUGHS, CRIES, genuine, passion, HONESTY, open, ARGUMENTS, helpful, EFFORT, compassion,ENCOURAGING, SUPPORTIVE, UNDERSTANDING, patience,UNWAVERING, quality time, TRUST, faithful, loyal, FRIENDSHIP, devotion, UNCONDITIONAL.
Okay, so now that I have painted the picture, the words that stand out most to me are underlined. I actually believe that all of those words fall under one of them: FRIENDSHIP.
Think about it.. think about your friendships that have ended and why they have ended and think about your friendships that you still have. These people are the ones who have our backs through it all. These are those same people that you’ve shared many of laughs, many of cries, who is honest with you no matter what, who prays for you or with you, who puts in equaleffort in the friendship, encourages you on your journey through life, with supporting your dreams (whether emotionally or physically or both). Trusting you with their secrets and their hearts and being understanding of your shortcomings, but realize that argumentshappen from time to time because let’s face it, its healthy. and even through all of your many flaws, they still love you unconditionally.
But what about in your relationship? Shouldn’t everything you have fall under your friendship? Think about it. Is the honesty there? Are you encouraging and are they? Do you support them? Is it unconditional or depends on the day? What does the effort look like?
What I am trying to convey is this: I have spoken about friendships being one of the most important pieces of your relationship, in a previous post ( Solid Foundations, Communication, & Setting Expectations), because no matter the drama, no matter the circumstances, you’ll always remember your friendship with that person. However, we know that there is only so much that you will take from someone, even a friendship, because if that were the case, we’d still have all the friends we’ve ever made; but we don’t. And when it’s time to make some cuts, you re-evaluate those relationships.
Above all else, your friendships and relationships are built on trust. Without trust, none of it matters. And because all of these words stem from each other, that foundation of a friendship has to have trust in the forefront because if you can’t be honest, you can’t be trusted. If you can’t be supportive, you can’t be encouraging. If you can’t put in effort, then you’ll never see the laughs, but there will be a lot of cries. If you can’t pray about it or pray together, it’s conditional and no matter the way you flip it, love should be UNCONDITIONAl.
So is it really love? ASK YOURSELF IF iTs really a relationship that prioritized a friendship BECAUSE YOU CAN SEARCH AND SEARCH AND TRY AND PAINT THIS PICTURE OF A “PERFECT” RELATIONSHIP, BUT HOW’S THE FOUNDATION? Instead of looking for a relationship, look for your best friend. Everything else will fall into place.
p.s. special thanks to my family and friends for help with this post; your love, patience, and support, are unconditional.