Break-ups and ending things with someone is never easy. Even when you’re trying to be peaceful about it all, it still can turn quite messy. This post is meant to highlight the ways to go through the motions after you’re ending things.
1. Remember that person was important to you, so disrespect should not be your way of trying to cope. If anything, choose not to speak with them before you say/do disrespectful things. It’s okay to wish them well. you can choose to not be bitter about anything.
2. Which brings me to point two. It’s okay to not want to speak to someone after you’ve broken up. That does not mean that you don’t love them anymore. It just means that you guys need time to get used to the fact that you are no longer going to be apart of each others daily routine. Remember: Time heals all wounds.
3. This does not apply to everyone: If you choose to want to do the clothes, gifts, and/or key exchange, please do not make it a petty meet-up. Do not prolong or not give back things that person is asking you for. If they want their belongings back, please be respectful enough to give it to them. Personally, the gifts, I never want back because I gave them to you out of love and that still applies.
4. Talk to someone. Friends really come in handy in these times of sadness or anger. They are there to “gas you up” and to comfort you. This is where you lean on them, not isolate yourself. The worst thing about going through a break-up, isn’t the actual break-up; it’s going through the motions alone. You don’t have to
5. Be kind to yourself. My friend and licensed therapist, Jasmine (@empowered.whole on IG), always says that during break-ups you’ll go through different stages. In those stages, one makes you begin to question yourself and your role in the ending. No matter whose fault or the reasons you’ve broken up, be kind to yourself. Don’t beat yourself up about things you cannot change. Don’t dwell, move forward.
6. pray always. During break-ups, we can lose faith in our ability to love again. don’t.remember God brings people into your lives for a reason; this person has helped you or taught you things in many ways. continue to pray through it all. pray for your peace and theirs because they usually need it too.
These are just a few ground rules that I try to go by, during a break-up. If you’re experiencing one, know that you are not alone and that it’s okay.
Take a deep breath and keep putting one foot in front of the other. There’s a new day and lots to explore.