Dating or DM'ing...


In grade school, when we wanted to know if someone liked us or not, we sent a letter. You remember those, “Do you like me? check yes or no” letters right?

In the same way, when we got older, we sent our friends in with probing questions like, “Do you have a gf/bf?, do you want one?, do you like my friend?, etc.” Then BAM! YOU’RE together.

These two escalated drastically because in came the 2000’s where social media has reigned supreme.

All we have to do now is go on a liking spree of someones pictures on Instagram and that will send out the “bat signal”  that we like them. If they like your pictures with the same sense of urgency, then DING! DING! DING!, you guys are now “talking.” (Notice I did not say dating in a physical sense)

yes, quick! But is it effective?  

But that’s not what kills me the most. It’s the lack of approach that comes with seeing those people in person. No filters, flaws, and all. The funny thing is, it’s a slim chance that this person will even come over and talk with you or if they do, the conversation or lack thereof, is awkward. Why? Because they are no longer those confident people that you talk to on social media or through texting. which sends mixed signals and begs the question:

”Do you like me? Yes or no?”

So, my suggestions for anyone relying on a DM or text to get the job done:

  1. Approach! Let them know that you’re interested. That goes for you too ladies! Though uncommon and due to my inability to believe in gender roles, some men actually like when women approach them. What’s the worst that can happen?

2. Ask them on a date, so you can get to know each other better. Because one thing THAT I do know, (because it’s very little that I have learned in the love & dating thing) is that no one wants you to text them to death!

3.KEEP THAT SAME ENERGY! Stop waiting to get behind a keyboard to be confident and be open about who you are. If you’re talkative through texts or DMs, be consistent in person.

I’m sure if you ask any old school person in your life, they’d say, “we ain’t have all that technology y’all kids have.” And boy, were they lucky. Only in this instance because I still stand behind my technology! But, in other words, you had to have game & a fire approach. “You had to say how you felt” -Dad

SO, MY LAST POINT: Be bold, be true, Be human, and be your most authentic self, IN-PERSON. & For those of you wondering: No! I am in no way saying that there are not successful relationships that started with someone sliding in the dm’s! However, some of us still like that old school approach where the chemistry can be felt & the vibes can just flow. Just Don't let the DMs be where it all stops.


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